Kiss My

School

Gotta love this topic <cough>
Column by Grace Y. Quan

October 1, 2002

How Close is Too Close?

Times sure have changed since I was young.  Although I haven't been to my 10-year high school reunion yet I feel that I'm just too old to be young anymore.  My cousin, Caitlin, who is a mere 15 years old recently attended her first high school dance.  When she got home she told her older sister, Anne, about her friends, Sissy and Leonard, getting kicked out of the dance.  She told her sister, "They were dancing too close, but I don't understand why they got kicked out because I was dancing just as close to Patrick."  This shocked Anne who is currently a senior in college.

At 1 a.m. my phone rang.  Thinking that it was a severe life or death situation my heart was racing. The first words out of Anne's mouth were, "You have to talk to her because I can't get anything else out of her."  I began my interrogation of my little cousin. Having watched her grow up I was shocked to hear what was coming out of her mouth.  Her language and knowledge of relationships and sex was simply shocking.  Anne and I just couldn't believe it.  Since we are closer in age, Anne and I discussed whether we actually knew as much as she does now at her age.  Our conclusion was that we didn't even know 10% of what she knows.

During the interrogation I learned that she didn't know what she was doing when she was "dancing too close."  Apparently she had just met Patrick and really wasn't even sure if his name was Patrick.  I began to explain to her that such behavior was inappropriate for a girl her age and that she should really think about what she had done.  She still didn't understand why Anne and I were so upset. 

Anne continued the interrogation and asked Caitlin if she was "freaking" with Patrick.  Caitlin answered, "No."  We were relieved.  Sadly, our moment of relief was destroyed when she asked what "freaking" was. Anne had to be the dutiful older sister and explain to her using stuffed animals as examples.  With the end of the demonstration I heard a loud gasp through their speakerphone and into my ear.  Yes, apparently Caitlin had "freaked" with Patrick. 

By the time we established what had really happened, it was after 2 a.m. and I was deeply shocked.  The fact that young kids are "freaking" on the dance floor is scary.  Yes, some of you make think that when you're 15 you're technically no longer a child, but at 15 you are also nowhere near an adult.  The maturity of a teenager may seem considerably high to the teenager who is living their life, but for a person who has many years on them, we see that they are nowhere near the maturity of adulthood. 

Although I'm a firm believer that our life experiences make us stronger, more mature, and give us character, I find myself at total disapproval at my cousin's behavior that night.  So you ask, how close is too close?  Well, as I told her that night, "When you feel more than his hands around your waist and his breath on your neck, you're too close.  So take a step back and reflect before your childhood disappears."

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